Jealousy and Porn on the Internet: Is website porn causing jealousy problems in your relationship?

Porn on the Internet: Is Website Porn Causing Jealousy Problems in Your Relationship?
By Susie and Otto Collins

One problem that is a big jealousy trigger is website porn. Here's an example of a question we frequently get from people who are
struggling with this issue:

"Is it natural to get jealous over porn or do you think I should get
over it because my boyfriend doesn't see it as a problem but I don't like him doing it. It upsets me."

Here's what we say to people who are faced with this problem...

Website porn is a pretty common problem between some couples, with one person doing it and the other person being upset by it. For whatever reason, the person viewing the website porn gets something out of doing it that he or she's not getting any other way.

What often happens in this "relationship dance" is the person enjoying the porn, in whatever form, defends his or her actions by telling the other person relationship that this is "normal" and the jealousy is unwarranted. The person may want to quit but doesn't know how and goes back to doing it again and again.

The person who is jealous generally feels confused, unattractive, not desirable and maybe even wondering if he/she is "wrong" to feel this way. Because he/she loves their partner, they don't want to feel this way but is still upset and feels like something is not right-either with them, their partner or with their relationship.

If your partner is indulging in website porn and you are jealous, we would suggest that you start with YOU and not with your partner's activities that you find uncomfortable. We suggest that it is time for you to look within yourself and ask what you are not getting from your partner and your relationship that you are wanting.

Get pen and paper and answer these questions and elaborate on what it is you want in an intimate relationship.

*Do you want more attention?
*More connection?
*More time with him or her?
*More emotional response from him or her?
*More presence?
*More love?
*More respect?

--What's missing? What do you want more of?

Give yourself the time and the space to discover what kind of
relationship you want and how you want to be treated by a partner.

When you have a clear idea of what you want, ask for it without
blaming or accusing him/her.

Please know that your partner may not change their porn habit even if they seem willing. This may not be a habit that he/she truly wants to give up because there is probably some void within them that this activity fills or attempts to fill for a moment.

Until your partner decides that he/she no longer needs to do this, wants to change, and actually gets help, your relationship will stay the same.

If he/she is not willing to give it to you or at least start trying to move in that direction by getting some help to deal with his/her addiction, you have some decisions to make about whether you want to stay with this person and be treated in this way.

We would say that you aren't jealous of over the porn but rather you are feeling lack in your relationship with him/her. Something's missing and until you discover what you want, you'll never have it. Quit focusing on the porn and focus on moving toward more of what you want in your relationship. You deserve it! We all do.

You can get instant access to the FREE trust building course if your partner has a porn habit or after it's been broken by an affair by entering your name and email address in the form below...